5 questions to ask yourself when you're questioning everything
the current state of the world has many of us rethinking everything — our politics. our families. our jobs. our hobbies. our vices. our virtues. our quarrels. our enemies. our friends. our plans.
people are losing their jobs left and right. they’re being furloughed. they’re waiting to hear back from unemployment. they’re struggling to provide for their families. they’re trying to stay healthy. trying to be present for their children. asking for extensions on the bills. struggling with their religion. wearing masks each time they leave the house. navigating working from home. watching black body after black body taken from us due to senseless violence —
all while trying to hold it together without falling apart. but what if the very thing being held together is the very thing that needs to fall apart?
i believe the precursor of any great change is disruption. and sometimes, our inability to allow ourselves to be disrupted keeps us bound in sameness.
this realization got me thinking a lot about who i am right now. who i aspire to be in the future. the lives i’ve touched. the legacy i’d like to leave. the work i’ve yet to do. the people i’ve yet to meet. you know, the heavy stuff.
and when i get in that sort of headspace, i tend to ponder a list of questions over and over again — grappling with them, spitting them back out, answering and re-answering them until things begin to make a little more sense for me.
here are some of those questions. maybe they’ll help you, too.
5) what are your values?
what is important to you? what motivates your decisions? what guides you thoughts? your answers to this question often influence whether or not you feel like your life is turning how you wanted it to — or not. when what you’re doing and how you’re engaging with other aligns with your values, life is typically pretty smooth. it’s when these things don’t align with your values that all hell can break loose, leaving you feeling unsatisfied and unhappy, among other things.
4). what areas of your life are you currently unhappy with?
maybe you’re in a relationship you know you should’ve gotten out of a long time ago. or you feel stuck in a job that you hate. or you don’t have a job at all. or you still haven’t met your weight loss goals. or you’ve yet to go back to school to get your degree. or you’re up to your neck in debt. or maybe you feel like you’re just not as far along as you thought you’d be at this point in your life. whatever it is, think about it — and do something about it, which goes into the next question…
3). what are you currently doing to mitigate the areas of your life you’re unhappy with?
inaction is your enemy. you can’t sit around day after day, week after week, month after month talking about what you plan on doing. planning is a verb. at some point, you’re going to need actually write the plan down, map it out, and start. it may seem very scary because once you start, you open yourself up to be held accountable either by yourself or those around you. but that’s a necessary part of the process. anybody can say what they’re going to do, but it takes a different level of dedication to do what you said. need help? pick up a book. do some research. find a therapist. or a life coach. or both, for that matter. the point is — the information is out there for you be the best version of you.
2). how are your relationships with other people?
this includes professional and personal relationships. do you have a pretty solid support group or are you haphazardly jumping from circle to circle in search of your wolfpack? are your older relationships growing with you or are they stunting your growth? when you understand the purpose of your relationships and the value they bring to your life, it’s easier to determine which relationships need to be watered and which ones need to be pruned.
1). what do you think of you?
your thoughts regarding yourself say more about who you are than the words of others.