weddings are a beautiful thing. the photos. the glitz and glamour. the reunion between friends. and most importantly, the celebration of love. but make no mistake about it, weddings can also take a major toll on all those involved. and whether you’ve noticed this already or not, the wedding game has definitely changed up a bit, largely due to the incorporation of new traditions and wedding finances that are unlike the generations that preceded us. nevertheless, here’s a list of things you should keep in mind before you tweak and agree to be part of a wedding that you don’t have the wherewithal for. 

5). it could be expensive. 

before you go ahead and accept an invitation to be in the wedding, you need to ask the bride or groom (whoever asked you) how much do they project the wedding to cost you. then, you need to have an honest conversation with yourself to determine if you’re able to do it financially. if you don’t think you’ll be able to swing it. don’t say you’ll be in the wedding. simple. nobody knows your finances and your projected finances better than you. and between the bridal shower, bachelor party, the attire, and whatever else, it can get expensive… low key, don’t tweak and bite off more than you can chew.

4). you may have to wear something that you don’t really like. 

understand this. now is not the time for you to give unsolicited advice to the bride and groom about your taste in attire, nails, hair, makeup, suit color, dress length and whatever else you think you need to add your two cents to. when the groom chooses the suit and the bride chooses the dress, keep your comments to yourself and fall in line. if the nail polish color isn’t working for you and you feel like you just can’t go on in life with that color on your hands and feet, just bow out gracefully sis. and if the tuxedo price is just way too high and you feel like they need to cut it, just sit this one out bro. why? cause it’s not about you. it’s not about your vision. it’s not about your taste. just saying.

3). the best man and maid of honor are there for a reason. 

if you’re in a wedding party, you need to respect the hierarchy. know what the chain of command is and abide by that. that means if you’re a groomsmen and the groom decides any and all issues should be forwarded to the best man, then you take your problems and concerns to the best man, not the groom. and if you’re a bridesmaid and the bride wants all communication from the bridesmaids to be relayed to her by the maid of honor, that means you don’t text her on the side regarding the wedding behind the maid of honor’s back. doesn’t matter if you like her or not. there’s a hierarchy for a reason and quite frankly, if they wanted you to be the maid of honor or best man, they would’ve selected you. sorry, not sorry. and that brings me to my next point…

2). if you are selected as the best man or maid of honor, know what those roles entail. 

read a book. watch a movie. ask your mama. do something. because the worst thing you can do is acquire a title and be so inept at it that someone has to step in behind you to make sure things run smoothly. it’s not a good look and ultimately, it makes everyone else’s job much harder because you’ve opted to be a liability rather than an asset. don’t be that person. 

1). if you don’t support the union, don’t fake the funk. 

this one is kinda self-explanatory. no need to be fake by agreeing to be part of a wedding if you don’t support the union. and as a matter of fact, if you feel that strongly about it, don’t even go to the wedding at all. keep that same energy at the crib and wait for the pictures to be posted on social media, because nobody needs that type of energy at their wedding, real talk.