how many times have you logged onto social media and thought to yourself, “dang! they're having a baby, too?” or “wow, they’re getting married? when did they even start dating?” as of lately, it legit seems like everyone is either going to graduate school, getting married, having a baby, or some sorta combination of all three. and that’s fine. i’m happy for all of the joy i’ve been seeing on my timeline; i actually love seeing everyone living their best life. but even with all of the photos and statuses i’ve seen, i wonder sometimes how many of us are making moves according to God’s will and how many of us are making moves to keep up with what everyone else seems to be doing. brothers, what you’re about to read are some major keys i picked up from pastor john hannah when i attended a men’s conference at new life covenant church. i really think it does a great job in breaking down the order of what we should be doing before we take that walk down the aisle. take note, brethren.

4). seek God’s presence. 

to some, this may seem like the obvious thing to start with. but to many, it’s really easier said than done. i mean, let’s be honest…there aren’t a lot of us who are seeking God first and making our requests known through prayer and what not. think about it…when was the last time you consulted God about a woman you were dating? did you talk to Him before you began to pursue her? before you kissed her? before you slept with her? before you met her brothers, sisters, aunties and uncles? for most of us, the answer is no to all of the above. and there lies the problem. we don’t start praying and bringing God in on the relationship until the girl starts exhibiting signs of crazy and we’re trying to break things off. but, if we start with God, and actually yield to his will for our lives, we’ll save ourselves some much needed time and energy on the back end. 

3). obtain sufficient provision. 

provision means being able to provide of supply something for use; it means you’re a provider. and from a societal stance, we already know that a man is largely defined by his ability to provide for his family. but in order to provide, in order to lead… you gotta have a sense of direction. you gotta have your steps ordered. and how do you get your steps ordered? by first seeking God's presence (it’s important to realize there’s a specific order in which you need to do these things, forreal). if you go outta order and try to get you some provision before you have sought after God’s presence, you’ll find yourself overworked and underpaid at jobs who have no purpose other than for you to toil until you’re too rugged and tired to do what it actually is that you were called to do. when you’re spirit led, you’ll find the job that’s for you. ain’t gon’ be no stressing and toiling to get the job because it’s already yours. working for someone else isn’t everyone’s portion. and making minimum wage just won’t do for all of us either. but you’ve gotta get your job situation and finances in order before you pursue mrs. right. too many of us are out here trying to find wifey in these streets when we have no real source of provision. no salary. no savings. no car. bad credit. no credit. nothing but an instagram feed full of photos of us with people we don’t even like, wearing clothes beyond our price point. how will you ever get ahead with that mentality? you got a car that’s real nice, but you’re upside down in the car payments and you’re ducking and dodging the repo man. you got the freshest kicks, but you walking into your parents house with an attitude, arguing with them about what’s a respectable time to come home. you buying bottles for the turn up but you still ain’t paid back the people you borrowed money from last week. this isn’t prospering. this is toiling and when the snapchat stories fade and the instagram likes dissolve, you’ve gotta have something tangible to hold on to, ya know? what are you gonna leave for the generations that come after you? what are you doing now to set you and yours up for a sustainable future? and while you don’t need to have all of these answers before you get married, you need to be well on your way. you may not have all the money that you’d like, but you gotta be a good steward over what you do have…before you try to bring someone else all up in your space.

2). secure you some property. 

ok so you’ve sought God’s presence, you’ve yielded to his instruction, and you’ve established yourself. you got a couple of coins in your savings account and established some good credit. you may not be out here ballin’ but you’re also not out here struggling. you’re good. this may be a good time to get you some property. now, when i first heard this at the conference, i interpreted “property” two ways: 1) property as in your own place and 2) property as in becoming a business owner or landlord or something like that. and while i’m definitely not knocking any good brother who is currently renting, long term we should be aiming to have our own property that we can potentially pass down to generations to come. nobody wants to be paying a landlord for the rest of their life, ya know? and whatever you interpret “property” to be, i think most of us can agree that the sentiment here is that a man needs to have his own “something.” 

1). seek you a partner. 

now this is the moment. the big reveal. the final countdown. the commencement of le prowl. the thing that keeps us all motivated; the pursuit of her. we’ve sought after God’s own heart, we’ve allowed him to lead us in every are of our life and because of that, we’re living our very best life. we've acquired our own home that we drive to in our own cars. we’ve got the end in mind, meaning our thought process has shifted from planning for saturday night to planning for generations to come and establishing generational wealth. and now, we’re looking for the woman we’re going to spend the rest of our life with; the one we’ll see the world with, enjoy kids and grandkids with and ultimately do life with. someone that God set aside just for us; that’s who we’re looking for at this point. and we aren’t compromising on what we know to be true, which is a major key. if you think about it, a lot of us aren’t following these tips. we’re out here trying to support women and we can’t even support ourselves. we’re having premarital sex, having kids outta wedlock, switching relationships, having more premarital sex, establishing soul ties all over the place and then wondering why there’s so much havoc happening around us; because we created it, that’s why. we went outta order and now things are just that…outta order. but it doesn’t have to be so. there’s a way that’s made plain for us to follow. all we gotta do is be obedient and yield to the instruction.